Father's Day 2015

Sunday, June 21st, 2015



Father's Day is upon us. Every father loves to be treated especially well by his children on this day of the year. It's great to get cards which tell you that you're the #1 dad in their lives. Of course, you're probably the only dad in their lives; so that, although it is true that you're the best dad they've ever had, you're also the worst dad they've ever had; but nobody wants to think of it this way.

It is also great to be treated by your wife like you're the king of the house (at least it's good to be treated like this for a few minutes each year). Wouldn't it be great if this sort of treatment from the children and wife would continue beyond Father's Day? Wouldn't it be great if this being treated like a king would go on for more than Sunday noon on Father's Day? The truth is that it can.

Well, I'm guessing you like this idea. So, how can I get my wife to treat me like a king throughout the year and not just on Father's Day? I believe the answer is that the wife is a responder. By this I mean that she has a tendency to respond in the way she is treated. If she is treated like a slave, she can be expected to respond like a slave. If she is treated like someone who is used and/or abused, she can be expected to respond like someone who is used and/or abused. I believe that, if you want your wife to treat you like a king, you had better learn how to treat her like a queen.

Now, how does this relate to Father's Day? Being a good, godly father starts with being a good, godly man and being a good, godly husband. We are to be bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Every day we are training our children by the way we live. We are demonstrating to our sons how they should be good, godly men and eventually become good, godly husbands. We are also demonstrating to our daughters the kind of man they should be looking for in a husband and how they should expect to be treated by their husbands. Remember that the family is one of God's programs for society along with the church and the government. Without a good, godly husband, it's hard to have a good, godly home; and today our society is filled with people who have never experienced a good, godly man in the home.

God expects that -


Ephesians 5:23 - For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Many men seem to believe that this means that they are the boss and that they can boss their wives around. In one sense, this is true.

It is true at work too, but if you don't like the way the boss treats you, you will probably leave eventually and go somewhere else where you expect to be treated better. How can you blame someone who is treated poorly for wanting to go somewhere else where he will be treated well? Well, it's hard to blame him.

Have you ever been treated like trash, like someone is saying to you that the only reason we're not doing better around here is that you're here? How would you respond to this? I know that I would probably develop the attitude that if you can get along better without me, I can get along better without you.

Do you really think your wife is going to think any differently, except for the fact that she is a Christian and is not supposed to do this?

What kind of head was Christ? Consider -

Matthew 11:28-30 - (28) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (29) Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. (30) For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Husband, you may need to lighten your wife's load so that she might be able to be the sort of wife you would like her to be. She can't do everything all day long and not be worn out when you're home in the evening. You could not do everything day after day which some husbands expect of their wives and be cheerful in the evenings.

Be the sort of head that Christ was. He was a godly, spiritual leader for the church. We husbands must be godly, spiritual leadership for our wives.

Not only should the husband provide spiritual leadership for his wife, but as the spiritual leader -

II. THE HUSBAND MUST LOVE HIS WIFE - Ephesians 5:25 , 28

Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

This means that the husband must love his wife unconditionally and completely, without expecting anything in return.

This is the sort of love that God demonstrated when He sent Christ to die on the cross in payment for the sins of all humanity.

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Romans 5:8 - But God commendeth [i.e. demonstrated] his love toward us, in that, while we were yet [i.e. still] sinners, Christ died for us.

I John 4:10 - Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Christ gave Himself on behalf of the church. As a husband, how am I giving myself on behalf of my wife? Do I do things for her just to lighten her load? Or, am I expecting my wife to be serving me, thus giving herself on behalf of me? This is backwards from what it's supposed to be, isn't it?

Ephesians 5:28 - So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

We see a portrait of love in I Corinthians 13:4-7

I Corinthians 13:4-7 - (4) Charity [i.e. love] suffereth long [it means that love is patient], and is kind [it means that love is gentle]; charity envieth not [it means that love is not jealous]; charity vaunteth not itself [it means that love is not braggart], is not puffed up [it means that love is not arrogant], (5) Doth not behave itself unseemly [it means that love does not behave itself indecently], seeketh not her own [it means that love is not seeking its own interests or is not looking out for itself], is not easily provoked [it means that love is not irritable], thinketh no evil [it means that love does not keep an accurate account of the evil done so that revenge might be taken later]; (6) Rejoiceth not in iniquity [it means that love does not rejoice in injustice or unrighteousness], but rejoiceth in the truth; (7) Beareth all things [it means that love endures all things, love covers all things, love passes all things over in silence, love keeps all things confidential, or love throws a cloak of silence over all things that are displeasing in someone else], believeth all things [it means that love is trusting], hopeth all things [it means that love does not despair], endureth all things [it means that love is persevering].

Husband, ask yourself, Am I loving my wife in this way? If not, do something about it. You do notice, don't you, that love is not a feeling. It is not a mushiness or a gushiness as people picture it. It is also not a physical feeling or an emotion either.


Ephesians 5:29 - For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

Nourish means feeds, maintains, or supports. Just as the Lord feeds, maintains, or supports His bride the church, a husband is to feed, maintain, or support his wife. So, how are you doing in your nourishing your wife? Your children are watching.

Just as the Lord provides for the church, so the husband is to provide for his wife.


Ephesians 5:29 - For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

Cherish means literally keeps warm; when used figuratively as it is here, it means comforts, holds dear, treats with tenderness and affection, appreciates, or shows approval

Just as the Lord looks out for the church by taking care of it, so the husband is to look out for his wife by taking care of her. How are we doing? Are we appreciative of our wives and showing approval of them? Some men show nothing but disapproval. You would think that their wives can't do anything right.


Ephesians 5:31 - For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

For this cause is because of what has been written in verses 28-29.

Ephesians 5:28-29 - 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

A man shall leave his father and mother means a man shall leave behind his father and mother. It indicates that the man leaves home, leaving his parents behind physically, financially, and emotionally so that he is no longer tied to them in the same way he was prior to marriage. The apron strings are to be cut. It does not necessarily mean that he has to move a thousand miles away.

Shall be joined unto his wife means shall adhere closely to his wife, shall be faithfully devoted to his wife, or shall join his wife. The future tense of shall leave, of shall be joined unto, and of shall be, which follows, indicates what should be expected under normal circumstances.

They two refers to the man and his wife.

Shall be one flesh indicates that they will in some way be united. Of course, this is clearly seen in the sexual act, but it goes way beyond this. Inasmuch as believers in the local church are members of Christ's body, of His flesh, and of His bones, in some way the husband and wife are joined together financially, emotionally, and socially, as well as physically, so that they combine together to be one with the husband as the head, leader, or authority.


Colossians 3:19 - Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them [i.e. against your wives].

Be not bitter = stop being (or stop becoming) bitter or stop being (or stop becoming) irritated.

Wives it helps if you don't do or say things which would cause your husbands to become bitter. A sharp-tongued wife can bring much grief to a marriage. So can a sharp-tongued man. Remember what Proverbs 15:1 says.

Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

The husband should forgive his wife rather than become bitter or irritated with her. Of course, wives could do this with their husbands as well.

Ephesians 4:31-32 - (31) Let all bitterness [i.e. animosity, anger, or harshness], and wrath [i.e. anger or rage], and anger [i.e. indignation or wrath and speaks of the outcome of an angry frame of mind. It represents a settled condition or disposition which is directed against someone rather than a quick boiling of one's blood], and clamour [i.e. shouting], and evil speaking [i.e. slander], be put away from you, with all malice [i.e. with all ill will (or with all malignity, which implies a mean-spirited or vicious attitude or disposition)]: (32) And be ye kind [i.e. loving or benevolent] one to another, tenderhearted [i.e. compassionate], forgiving [or pardoning] one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.


I Timothy 3:2 - A bishop [i.e. a pastor in his role as superintendent of the church] then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach.

I Timothy 3:12 - Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

In both verses it means that these leaders in the church are to be devoted to their wives and not having eyes for other women. They are not to be flirtatious. If you want to upset your wife, men, start making eyes at other women, or start being flirtatious with other women, or start looking at pictures of other women. You may not only upset your wife and experience her jealousy, but you may also encounter the woman's jealous husband who can be expected to become a raging bull.

Now, what's good for the pastor and deacons is also good for the rest of the men as well.


I Peter 3:7 - Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Dwell with them means be living with (them), and its tense indicates an ongoing or continuing relationship. It is the opposite of being separated from them.

Them refers to the wives as a group. This is a general truth. The husbands as a whole are to be dwelling with the wives as whole.

Of course, each individual husband is to be living with his own wife, but it is to be according to knowledge or with reference to knowledge. This means that the husbands should be living with the wives with certain knowledge, but Peter does not specify what this knowledge is. Is it Christian knowledge where he knows that he is to be the spiritual leader in the home, where he is also to be well-acquainted with the Scriptures and with correct doctrine? Is it knowing what a woman is like in her emotional and physical makeup? Since Peter does not say, was any limitation to be understood by the readers, and is all knowledge in general what Peter intended? Although we cannot be absolutely certain, it seems that Peter is saying that a husband should be a godly man with an understanding of what a woman is like and with an understanding of the nature of marriage.

Giving honor unto the wife means assigning, showing, or paying honor to his own wife. The tense of giving indicates that he is always to be giving honor unto his wife, and the meaning of the word implies that this is done deliberately. Honor is a term which indicates that the husband has evaluated his wife's worth and considers her worthy of his honor, reverence, or respect. She is not just a slave or an object for his pleasure. Some men seem to give more honor to other women than they do to their own wives, and this is not good. A man is to give his wife the respect that she deserves.

As unto the weaker vessel gives the first of two reasons the husbands should give honor unto their wives: she is the weaker vessel.

Vessel is understood in the sense of instrument. The fact that Peter refers to the wife as the weaker vessel indicates that the husband is also a vessel and implies that he is the stronger of the two. In what way is the wife the weaker vessel? In general, women are weaker physically than men. In general, women are more emotional, whereas men are more logical. Is she the weaker vessel spiritually? Is the man the stronger vessel as the spiritual leader of the home? He needs to be.

And as being heirs together of the grace of life indicates a second reason the husband should be giving honor unto his wife. It is because they are heirs together of the grace of life.

Being heirs together is inheriting together. Saved husbands and wives are fellow-heirs or joint-heirs of the grace of life.

Grace means a gift; and the grace of life (or the gift of life) is the gift which is life. It means that the gift is eternal life. It means that a husband and a wife who are both saved are fellow-heirs of eternal life. For this reason a husband should treat his wife with respect.

That your prayers be not hindered is in order that your prayers are not continuing to be thwarted or so that your prayers are not continuing to be thwarted.

The tense of hindered along with the negative indicates that this is already happening and should be stopped. Apparently, the husbands as a group were not giving honor unto their wives as they should have been, and their prayers were consequently being hindered. If the husbands in general would start giving respect unto their wives as they should be, their prayers will then stop being hindered by their own actions.


Men, if you want your wife to treat you like a king, try treating her like a queen.

It will be good for your relationship with your wife and will provide a proper example for your children.