II Samuel 13

Sunday, August 16th, 2015



When a person is born again, he becomes a child of God.

John 1:12 - But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

When a person is born again, his life is changed, and God wants this new convert to live for Him.

II Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

God's purpose that believers be conformed to the image of Christ is clear.

Romans 8:28-30 - (28) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (29) For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. (30) Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

We are to judge sin in our lives.

I Corinthians 11:29-32 - (29) For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. (30) For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. (31) For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. (32) But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.

Sin may bring chastisement in our lives.

I Corinthians 11:29-32 - (29) For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. (30) For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. (31) For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. (32) But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.

Hebrews 12:5-11 - (5) And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: (6) For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. (7) If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? (8) But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. (9) Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? (10) For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. (11) Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

David had given the enemies of the Lord great occasion to blaspheme.

II Samuel 12:14 - (14) Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.

We too must be so careful of our example. In I Corinthians 11:1 , Paul said, Be ye followers of me even as I am of Christ. Our lives ought to be such good examples that, coupled with our witness, they will point men to Christ. They can see that this salvation really works in our lives.

There is a Biblical principle of sowing and reaping. In this message we see that people reap the consequences of what they sow.

Galatians 6:6-7 - (6) Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him [i.e. share with him] that teacheth in all good things. (7) Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Murder and adultery were strictly forbidden under the Law; yet, David committed both of them.

Exodus 20:13-14 - (13) Thou shalt not kill. (14) Thou shalt not commit adultery.

David was about to reap what he had sown. We have previously looked at II Samuel 12:11 .

II Samuel 12:11 - Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

We have seen God's chastisement of David beginning with the death of the child. As we continue, we see God beginning to raise up evil against David out of his own house -


II Samuel 13:1 - And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

After what?

1. After David had neglected his duty

2. After David had lusted after Bathsheba

3. After David had purposed in his heart to satisfy his lust

4. After David had committed adultery with Bathsheba

5. After David had attempted to conceal his sin

6. After David had committed premeditated murder

We see that -


1. Amnon lusted after Tamar - 13:1

II Samuel 13:1 - And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair [i.e. lovely] sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

This is not love in spite of the fact that he called it love. It was lust. Genuine love would never do anything which would harm someone else.

2. Amnon purposed in his heart to satisfy his lust - 13:2

II Samuel 13:2 - And Amnon was so vexed [i.e. frustrated or distressed], that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.

Although Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to Tamar, it sounds very much like he wanted to do something to her that he shouldn't do.

3. Amnon was frustrated in his efforts to satisfy his lust - 13:2

II Samuel 13:2 - And Amnon was so vexed [i.e. frustrated or distressed], that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.

4. Amnon accepted ungodly advice from an ungodly friend - 13:3-5

II Samuel 13:3-5 - (3) But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man [i.e. a very shrewd (or crafty) man]. (4) And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean [i.e. becoming thinner] from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. (5) And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat [i.e. give me food], and dress the meat [i.e. prepare the food] in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.

We need to be careful about our children's friends.

5. Amnon deceived David just as David had deceived Uriah - 13:6-7

II Samuel 13:6-7 - (6) So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand [i.e. from her hand]. (7) Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat [i.e. prepare food for him].

David became an unwilling accomplice in Amnon's sin

6. Amnon forced his sister as David had committed adultery - 13:8-14

II Samuel 13:8-14 - (8) So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down [i.e. was lying down]. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes. (9) And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men [i.e. have everyone go out] from me. And they went out every man from him. (10) And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat [i.e. food] into the chamber [i.e. bedroom], that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber [i.e. into the bedroom] to Amnon her brother. (11) And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. (12) And she answered him, Nay [i.e. no], my brother, do not force me [suggesting, do not violate me]; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly [i.e. this disgraceful thing]. (13) And I, whither [i.e. where] shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. (14) Howbeit [i.e. but] he would not hearken unto [i.e. listen to] her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.

In terms of vileness, Amnon's sin went beyond his father's sin.

7. After forcing Tamar, Amnon kicked her out - 13:15-17

II Samuel 13:15-17 - (15) Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith [i.e. with which] he hated her was greater than the love wherewith [i.e. with which] he had loved her. [It is obvious that he had never really loved her.] And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone [i.e. get up and get out!]. (16) And she said unto him, There is no cause [i.e. No, indeed!]: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto [i.e. listen to] her. (17) Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her [i.e. bolt the door behind her].

It is apparent that -


1. Absalom's question indicates that the character of Amnon was well known - 13:18-20

II Samuel 13:18-20 - (18) And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king's daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her [i.e. behind her]. (19) And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent [i.e. tore] her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying [i.e. went away crying]. (20) And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace [i.e. keep silent], my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house.

2. David was angry but did nothing - 13:21

II Samuel 13:21 - But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth [i.e. very angry or furious].

David was king. As king, he was obligated to see that the Law was enforced impartially, but David did nothing.

It is not likely that a sin so vile as this one was the first time Amnon had done anything wrong. He does not appear so innocent. Sin usually progresses in stages. Had David neglected discipline? David did nothing. He did not punish him in any way.

Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

It is the parents' responsibility to teach their children. If you have trained your child in the way he should go, if you have trained him in the ways of godliness, if you have trained him in the way of the Scriptures and lived faithfully for the Lord in front of him, you will have fulfilled your responsibility. But if you neglect your responsibility, you will pay for it when you see the result.

Deuteronomy 6:4-8 - (4) Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord: (5) And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. (6) And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: (7) And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. (8) And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

Proverbs 19:18 - Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 22:15 - Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14 - (13) Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. (14) Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

God dealt with Amnon in a way which also chastened David.

Next, we see that -


II Samuel 13:23-39 - (23) And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king's sons. (24) And Absalom came to the king, and said, Behold now, thy servant hath sheepshearers; let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant. (25) And the king said to Absalom, Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee [i.e. lest we be a burden to you]. And he pressed him [i.e. urged him]: howbeit he would not go, but blessed him [i.e. gave him his blessing]. (26) Then said Absalom, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee? [Was David suspicious?] (27) But Absalom pressed him [i.e. urged him], that he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. (28) Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now [i.e. watch now or see now] when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon [i.e. strike Amnon]; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant. (29) And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his mule [i.e. got up on his mule], and fled. (30) And it came to pass, while they were in the way [i.e. on the way], that tidings came to David, saying, Absalom hath slain [i.e. has killed] all the king's sons, and there is not one of them left [i.e. not one of them is left]. (31) Then the king arose, and tare [i.e. tore] his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent [i.e. torn]. (32) And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king's sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom [literally, by the mouth of Absalom = suggesting by Absalom's own words] this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. (33) Now therefore let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king's sons are dead: for Amnon only is dead. [Shouldn't this have raised a red flag in David's thinking? How did Jonadab know this?] (34) But Absalom fled. And the young man that kept the watch [i.e. the watchman] lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, there came much people by the way of the hill side behind him [i.e. from the road on the hillside behind him]. (35) And Jonadab said unto the king, Behold, the king's sons come: as thy servant said [i.e. as I said = I told you so], so it is. (36) And it came to pass, as soon as he had made an end of speaking, that, behold, the king's sons came, and lifted up their voice and wept: and the king also and all his servants wept very sore [i.e. very bitterly]. (37) But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. [David had married Maacah, daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur (II Samuel 3:3 ); and Maacah became the mother of Absalom and Tamar. To Talmai Absalom fled for safety after the murder of Amnon. Geshur was a territory east of the sea of Galilee.] And David mourned for his son every day. (38) So Absalom fled, and went to Geshur, and was there three years. (39) And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.

Amnon's mother [Maacah] was a Gentile.

Mixed marriages were forbidden

Deuteronomy 7:1-4 - (1) When the Lord thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou goest to possess it, and hath cast out many nations before thee, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than thou; (2) And when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them: (3) Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. (4) For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.

David was deceived by Absalom and became an unwilling accomplice in Amnon's murder.

Again, David did nothing.

David should have obeyed Deuteronomy 17:14-19 -

Deuteronomy 17:14-19 - (14) When thou art come unto the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, and shalt possess it, and shalt dwell therein, and shalt say, I will set a king over me, like as all the nations that are about me; (15) Thou shalt in any wise set him king over thee, whom the Lord thy God shall choose: one from among thy brethren shalt thou set king over thee: thou mayest not set a stranger over thee, which is not thy brother. (16) But he shall not multiply horses to himself, nor cause the people to return to Egypt, to the end that he should multiply horses: forasmuch as the Lord hath said unto you, Ye shall henceforth return no more that way. (17) Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away: neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold. (18) And it shall be, when he sitteth upon the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write him a copy of this law in a book out of that which is before the priests the Levites: (19) And it shall be with him, and he shall read therein all the days of his life: that he may learn to fear the Lord his God, to keep all the words of this law and these statutes, to do them.

David should have executed Absalom -

Numbers 35:33 - So ye shall not pollute the land wherein ye are: for blood it defileth the land: and the land cannot be cleansed of the blood that is shed therein, but by the blood of him that shed it.

Genesis 9:6 - Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.

David was paralyzed by his own sin.

Finally, we see that -


1. Absalom premeditated the murder of Amnon as David had premeditated the murder of Uriah.

2. Murder was a means to achieve a desired end.

(1) David murdered Uriah to obtain Bathsheba.

(2) Absalom murdered Amnon (David's oldest son and, therefore, the one standing in line to be the next king) in order to obtain the throne.

(3) David used his servant to kill Uriah; Absalom used his servants to kill Amnon.

(4) David made Uriah drunk; Absalom made Amnon drunk.


What a price to pay for the pleasure of a few moments of sin.

Let's learn some lessons here:

1. Note the terrible consequences of sin.

2. Note the necessity of godly, well-disciplined homes.

3. Note the appropriateness of God's chastisement, in dealing with the sins of his children.

Suppose we find ourselves in a situation where we are reaping what we have sown.

We must come to the point where we will admit to God that we are guilty of sin and deserving of the consequences and accept them as just.